Boy Bonanza

You know how when you get a car or haircut or something and suddenly you feel like you see it everywhere after not seeing it before?

I feel like that is how having Spencer has been. I was surrounded by people having girls, baby girls were everywhere before. But within weeks of having Spencer I was suddenly surrounded by people having little boys.

It was heartbreaking and exciting all at once. I knew within weeks that Spencer was not going to be the little boy we had imagined, and weeks later, I knew we would not have the privilege of raising him.

So why..why did it seem everyone around me was going to have the privilege, that joy, that lifetime of little boys?

I was never going to be able to share in the mom of boys comparison club. Did your boy do this, or that? Is this a boy habit or just mine? Do boys ever stop...?

The only thing I would ever get to know about boys, was that in just 6 weeks, I was peed on and had more outfits peed through than I thought possible for such a short time frame.

But that is it. That is where my mom of a boy knowledge and experience ends. That is hard.

My husband has his 'daddy's little girl' Spencer was 'mommy's little boy' but that has been taken from me. Experiencing my son was over.

But here I am, seemingly surrounded by little boys. Boys who were born the same time as Spencer and went home without issue, boys who have yet to arrive-who I tell the universe-better arrive PERFECTLY HAPPY AND HEALTHY or the universe will have me to contend with.

What I imagine will happen should the universe piss me off more...

One of those little boys belongs to my best friend since childhood (don't worry, I am not spilling the beans, she has publicly announced). It was hard to hear, that she would have a boy. But oddly, not for the reasons you think.

Not for a second was I angry she would get her son, not for a second was I upset that she would get to experience being a mom of a boy. No. I was mad that I wouldn't be able to have my son, only months ahead of hers, to help give her the heads up on what was to come. That we wouldn't be able to bond over our boys. That her son, wouldn't have a cousin in mine.

But-I could not be more excited for her to welcome him into this world. I could not be happier that he is coming, and for Kenzie to be getting a little boy cousin. As I said before- I have warned the universe that my experiences better mean that this little boy comes into the world happy and healthy, because we have been through enough, and I am not about to let the universe put us through anything more.

Maybe that is why I am surrounded by boys? Because I could not keep mine, the universe still wanted me to have something? Well, universe, if this is the plan- you better ensure I am surrounded by happy Fu**ing babies.

You hear that universe?! You gave me a son, and you took him away. At the same time surrounding me with baby boys that were not mine. The least you could do is ensure the little boys I am surrounded with go on to live happy, healthy, amazing lives. Lives I get to be a part of. I might not get to experience being a mom of a boy any longer, but damned if I don't plan to be the best Aunt of little boys there ever was and I will fight anyone who wants to challenge that!

So-Bring on the Boys!!